There is not one dirty word in it, and it is funny.
The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a
surrogate father to start their family.
On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife
goodbye and said, “Well, I’m off now; the man should be here soon.”
Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer
happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale.
Good morning, Ma’am”, he said, “I’ve come to…”
Oh, no need to explain,” Mrs. Smith cut in, embarrassed, “I’ve been
“Have you really?” said the photographer. “Well, that’s good. Did you
know babies are my specialty?”
“Well that’s what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a
After a moment she asked, blushing, “Well, where do we start?”
“Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the
couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And sometimes the living room
floor is fun. You can really spread out there.”
“Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn’t work out for Harry and
“Well, Ma’am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we
try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles,
I’m sure you’ll be pleased with the results.”
“My, that’s a lot!” gasped Mrs. Smith.
“Ma’am, in my line of work a man has to take his time. I’d love to be
in and out in five minutes, but I’m sure you’d be disappointed with
“Don’t I know it,” said Mrs. Smith quietly.
The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his
baby pictures. “This was done on the top of a bus,” he said.
“Oh my God!” Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at her throat.
“And these twins turned out exceptionally well – when you consider
their mother was so difficult to work with.”
“She was difficult?” asked Mrs. Smith.
“Yes, I’m afraid so I finally had to take her to the park to get the
job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep to get a
“Four and five deep?” said Mrs. Smith, her eyes wide with amazement.
“Yes”, the photographer replied. “And for more than three hours, too.
The mother was constantly squealing and yelling – I could hardly
concentrate, and when darkness approached I had to rush my shots.
Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just had
to pack it all in.”
Mrs. Smith leaned forward. “Do you mean they actually chewed on your,
“It’s true, Ma’am, yes.. Well, if you’re ready, I’ll set-up my tripod
and we can get to work right away.”
“Oh yes, Ma’am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It’s much
too big to be held in the hand very long.”
Mrs. Smith fainted………
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While I am sleeping in on Saturday and Sunday mornings, the Dingley Dingoes , a local amateur football club has been slugging it out in
our backyard, the Souter Oval. The bell and umpire whistles would wake me up and I would eventually get up and go out the back to have a look at the game and scream to my heart’s content, “come on boys”. I will have no idea of the score as I can not see it from my end but I still scream a cheer for them anyway. I didn’t even know they are on top of the ladder until Shane pointed it out to me. This is how my mornings go on weekends. A cheer or two for the boys would start my day.
Footy is very much a part of me now as is Australia. My love for sports has been fueled to the max ever since I lived here. This is why I love Melbourne and wouldn’t trade it for any place anywhere. At least not now. Sports is
a way of life here. Kahit maghapo’t magdamag akong nasa bahay lang, basta may sports broadcast sa TV, ok lang ako.
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I haven’t been feeling really good lately. I was up to my neck with work until yesterday. Well, now there are still two instruments waiting to be done and I don’t feel like moving. I just want to sit here in my desk and stare at the computer all day. I have a lingering headeache. I had to repair and calibrate an old telecom test instrument which had an intermittent fault. Bangungot (nightmare) – that is how we termed a fault when it is very hard to fix, back when I was working in a GE wireless phone manufacturing in the Philippines. *Sigh* hirap talaga kumita ng pera. Glad it’s all done now.
Another reason for my headache is lack of sleep. Shane is bloody snoring! It’s loud enough to wake me up and when that happens I wouldn’t be able to go back to sleep right away. During the day, I would feel tired and sluggish, will have headache and can’t think clearly. I am falling aleep even now as I am writing this. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
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The following are just a few of the movies that are coming out soon or in the next few months. Movie-List has a comprehensive listing of most if not all Hollywood movies. Trailers can also be viewed in different formats.
1. Pirates of the Carribean: At World’s End
- Release Date: May 25, 2007
- Cast: Johnny Depp, Orlando Bloom, Keira Knightley, Geoffrey Rush, Chow Yun-Fat, Stellan Skarsgård, Jack Davenport, Kevin R. McNally, Lee Arenberg, Mackenzie Crook, Andy Beckwith, Reggie Lee
- Plot: Captain Barbossa, Will Turner and Elizabeth Swann must sail off the edge of the map, navigate treachery and betrayal, and make their final alliances for one last decisive battle.
- Genre: Action / Adventure / Comedy / Fantasy
2. Ocean’s 13
- Release Date : 8th June 2007
- Plot: The continuing criminal exploits of Danny Ocean and his crew of crooks.
- Cast: George Clooney, Brad Pitt, Matt Damon, Andy Garcia, Don Cheadle, Bernie Mac, Casey Affleck, Scott Caan, Eddie Jemison, Shaobo Qin, Carl Reiner, Elliott Gould, Ellen Barkin, Al Pacino, David Paymer
3. The Bourne Ultimatum
- Release Date: August 3, 2007
- Cast: Matt Damon, Julia Stiles, Joan Allen, David Strathairn, Paddy Considine, Edgar Ramirez
- Plot: Bourne races to discover the final mysteries of his past while a government agent tries to track him down after a shootout in Moscow.
- Genre: Action / Adventure / Drama / Mystery / Thriller
4. Harry Potter and the Order of Phoenix
- Release Date: July 13, 2007
- Cast: Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint, Emma Watson, Imelda Staunton, George Harris, Helen McCrory, Natalia Tena, Kathryn Hunter, Evanna Lynch, Robbie Coltrane, Ralph Fiennes, Michael Gambon, Brendan Gleeson, Jason Isaacs, Gary Oldman
- Plot: With their warning about Lord Voldemort’s return scoffed at, Harry and Dumbledore are targeted by the Wizard authorities as an authoritarian bureaucrat slowly seizes power at Hogwarts.
- Genre: Adventure / Drama / Family / Fantasy
5. Rush Hour 3
- Release Date: August 10, 2007
- Cast: Chris Tucker, Jackie Chan, Hiroyuki Sanada, Youki Kudoh, Max Von Sydow, Noemie Lenoir, Vinnie Jones, Yvan Attel, Roselyn Sanchez, Roman Polanski
- Plot: While in Paris, Lee and Carter inadvertently get mixed up with the Chinese Triad crew.
- Genre: Action / Comedy / Crime / Thriller
6. Fantastic Four : Rise of the Silver Surfer
- Release Date: June 15, 2007
- Cast: Ioan Gruffudd, Jessica Alba, Chris Evans, Michael Chiklis, Julian McMahon, Kerry Washington, Andre Braugher
- Plot: The Fantastic Four learn that they aren’t the only super-powered beings in the universe when they square off against the power Silver Surfer and the planet-eating Galactus.
- Genre: Action / Adventure / Sci-Fi
7. Resident Evil : Extinction
- Release Date: September 21, 2007
- Cast: Milla Jovovich, Oded Fehr, Ali Larter, Iain Glen, Ashanti, Chris Egan, Spencer Locke, Jason O’Mara, Mike Epps
- Plot: Survivors of the Raccoon City catastrophe travel across the Nevada desert, hoping to make it to Alaska. Alice joins the caravan and their fight against the evil Umbrella Corp.
- Genre: Action / Horror / Sci-Fi / Thriller
8. The Simpsons Movie
- Release Date: July 27, 2007
- Cast: Dan Castellaneta, Julie Kavner, Nancy Cartwright, Yeardley Smith, Harry Shearer, Hank Azaria, Pamela Hayden, Tress MacNeille, Maggie Roswell, Russi Taylor, Marcia Wallace
- Plot: When Homer accidentally pollutes the river with toxic waste from the nuclear power plant, he gets fired from his job, and everyone has to evacuate Springfield, possibly forever.
- Genre: Animation / Comedy
9. Live Free or Die Hard
- Release Date: June 27, 2007
- Cast: Bruce Willis, Justin Long, Maggie Q, Timothy Olyphant, Mary Elizabeth Winstead
- Plot: When a criminal plot is in place to take down the entire computer and technological structure that supports the economy of the United States (and the world), it’s up to a decidedly “old school” hero, police detective John McClane, to take down the conspiracy, aided by a young hacker.
- Genre: Action / Adventure / Thriller
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